Entering this year, the one thing I was most excited to re-launch and pour my attention into was this blog. I was convinced, above all else, that this would be the year where my discipline and commitment—to things like my relationship with God and my day job—would naturally spill over into this passion project. Unfortunately, that commitment “fell short” over the last couple of months.
For reasons outside of my control, I decided to take a step back and ultimately take a break.
Many times while I was off the grid, I felt guilty. Instead of being fully present and enjoying the time off I had given myself permission to enjoy, I felt the weight of anxiety—like high blood pressure rising within me.
I started to wonder if I was making a mistake by not working on my blog or producing the content I had already built out in my production system. Even with no followers, low website numbers, and few Google searches, I convinced myself that if I didn’t have numbers now, my absence would only make it worse.
Then something unexpected began to happen. Posts I had published on Pinterest weeks—even months—earlier started receiving high engagement. Suddenly, while intentionally not focusing on my blog, my numbers started to grow. People began to save, like, and click through to my website via a faith-based Pinterest post.
Even though I wanted to jump back into the work, by that point, I was already in Costa Rica with my family, moving through the emotions that had led me to take this month off in the first place—grief.
My cousin Alex had passed away tragically in Costa Rica. My mom and I packed our bags quickly and flew there without hesitation. In my heart, I know the Lord opened the doors for us to be there—to emotionally support our family during this unexpected time. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but the calling was undeniable.
Even in the moments when I felt myself stressing about stepping away from the work, being reminded of God’s main purpose for my life kept me grounded. The truth is, above all else, my purpose on this earth is to spread the Good News and serve His Kingdom. And that, I believe, is what I was doing during my time in Costa Rica.
Even at the funeral ceremony, I was unexpectedly called to speak—with no preparation. Unrehearsed and incredibly nervous, the words began to flow from my mouth, and I preached the gospel. It all happened so unexpectedly, but afterward, I knew the Lord had used me for His glory. In that moment, it wasn’t about me—it wasn’t even about my cousin Alex—it was about the Lord and the lost souls in that room.
As I reflect on the time I stepped away from this website, from my passion, from my craft of creating, I realize this is something that may happen more than once.
However, this isn’t a reflection of whether I’m “disciplined enough.” Instead, it’s a reflection of obedience, of grief, of rest, and of being called to other unseen assignments.
It’s in these moments that I’m reminded—it is far better to focus on what is unseen than what will fade.
Paul beautifully captures this truth in a verse I’ve been reflecting on:
“As we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”
—2 Corinthians 4:18
I write all of this as a reminder to myself—and as encouragement to you.
To you who may be under the pressures of culture, work, and society. The noise of the world can distract and overwhelm. But the Spirit leads us to exactly where He needs us to be.
This is what living a life of surrender looks like. It’s a path that’s unexpected and may not always make sense—but when we trust in the Lord, His promises are fulfilled.
He’s a promise keeper.
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